Today I talked with my mom after we left dinner at one of our favorite spots. We almost always talk about the same things… love, relationships and our aspirations. My mom told me how she ultimately wanted happiness for both of her children. I told my mom I didn’t believe in permanent happiness. Happiness is temporary and a moment. I can’t imagine life being happy every single day. I believe we need a a healthy balance or mixture of emotions. No one should endure sadness for too long and it’s unrealistic to be unaffected & happy every day of our lives. I’ve noticed there has not been a time when I was happy permanently. I have had beautiful moments of happiness and extremely bright days where I felt like it was eternal sunshine…but then something happens, LIFE happens. I have learned to control my reactions better to unpleasant things. I haven’t been completely happy with anyone in my life at ALL times. I wonder what it is like to be in a permanent state of happiness…is it really unrealistic? or maybe I have given up on the notion.
Ultimately I want peace. Peace is when you accept things as they are. Peace is when you can recognize things are not always perfect and IT IS OK.